So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
