Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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