If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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