He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
