everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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