piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
