It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
