So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
