yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize