It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
