Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
