i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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