Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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