new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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