He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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