Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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