your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just gift wrapped bread.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
