I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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