How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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