She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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