No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
