Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
