I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
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SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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