At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
false alarm, still single
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
