Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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