Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
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Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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