All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
