last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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