i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
