I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
