It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
