didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just puked most of my soul out..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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