guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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