Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
