she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
