Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
