you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
