I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
