break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i think my cat just said my name.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize