Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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