I wannas sexs uuuuu
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
