me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
