so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
