is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
