Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
