Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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