So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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