I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
