He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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