i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
