i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
