guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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