God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize