Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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