Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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