Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
