Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
