How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
