Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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