You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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