So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize