I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
