is your mom at the bar?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
