Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
