I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
