I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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