NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
