Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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