and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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