So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
